STORIES
171 - In for a Penny
2011
Saturday afternoon ...
NEVE:
I done.
JESSE:
No you’re not.
NEVE:
Uh-huh. I full.
JESSE:
You barely touched it. Now eat your hotdog.
NEVE:
I done.
JESSE:
Dammit Neve, I'm not in the mood for this. Take a few bites.
NEVE:
Don’t want to.
JESSE:
Fine, but you’re not getting any cookies. Just get out of here. You're giving me a freakin’ hangover and I haven’t even had a drink.
NEVE:
OK.
HERITA:
‘old it right there lil' missy. There’s still food on yer plate.
NEVE:
But ‘Rita, Jesse said I can go.
HERITA:
Did ‘e now?
JESSE:
I’m tired of arguing with her.
HERITA:
Are ya now? Sure - take the easy way out. I’m the one who made ‘er lunch. I’ll be the one to tell ‘er when she’s finished ...
HERITA:
… Neve, get yerself back in the chair.
NEVE:
But Jesse said ...
HERITA:
That means nothin’ to me. Now finish yer lunch.
JESSE:
Now wait just a friggin' second -
Who the hell do you think you are?
HERITA:
I'm the one who cooks ‘er food, that’s who I am.
So, unless ya want to prepare 'er meals from now on
– you ‘ave no say in the matter.
NEVE:
I finished.
HERITA:
There’s a good girl. Now what comes next?
NEVE:
Ummm... may I be es-cused, please?
HERITA:
Ya may.
JESSE:
Hey - how'd you …?
ZYFAN:
Greetings Herita, is there any tea left?
HERITA:
It’s on the table, and it’s still nice and 'ot.
ZYFAN:
Jesse, you look puzzled. Is something wrong?
JESSE:
I don’t know. We were having this fight and then,
Neve ate her lunch and ... Herita - she’s so freakin’ strange.
ZYFAN:
Perhaps, but she makes a good cup of tea and I for one
have missed her cooking. It is good to have her back.
JESSE:
Maybe ...
ZYFAN:
Are you going?
JESSE:
I don't know. I must be nuts but I feel like I need to thank her ...
JESSE:
Herita, can I talk to you?
HERITA:
Make it quick, I got lots to do.
JESSE:
I wanted to ... that thing you just did, with Neve.
The way you got her to eat and ...
HERITA:
Tick-tock.
JESSE:
God Herita – why do you make everything so friggin’ hard.
I’m trying to thank you.
HERITA:
I don’t want a bleedin’ thank you. Ya just wanna get on me good side
so ya can get outa watchin’ Neve more than ya already do.
Well I'm 'ere to tell ya it ain't goin' to work.
JESSE:
That isn’t it at all. I was trying to be nice.
HERITA:
You - be nice? What do ya take me for - a bloomin 'idiot?
JESSE:
Oh forget it. I go out of my way to thank you and this is the thanks I get.
HERITA:
Bloody hell! Did ya expect me t’ thank ya for thankin' me?
JESSE:
You're the most irritating, argumentative pain in the ...
HERITA:
There ya go again - tryin' to get on me good side.
JESSE:
You don't have a good side!
HERITA:
Well look at you - all hot and bothered. Is that all ya got?
JESSE:
Huh?
HERITA:
shove
Nothin’ like a good roe to heat things up, doncha think?
JESSE:
Wow …
MEZ:
Jesse - what are you doing?
HERITA:
Isn't it obvious?
MEZ
What about Io?
JESSE:
Oh crap! Io ...
ZYFAN:
Is everything all right? Oh my …
JESSE:
Mez listen …
MEZ:
No. I don't want to know.
ZYFAN:
I think it may be best if I went elsewhere. Excuse me.
JESSE:
Damn, I have the worst freakin’ luck - ever.
HERITA:
You and Io, eh?
JESSE:
You didn't know? Sorry.
HERITA:
Don’t care.
JESSE:
... Do ya think Mez will tell him?
HERITA:
Dunno.
JESSE:
I’m screwed no matter what.
HERITA:
Positively.
JESSE:
Don’t sugar coat it for me – I can take it.
JESSE:
What are you doing?
HERITA:
The way I see it you're already in a mess, and I was ‘avin' such a good time
- imagine my surprise, ‘avin' a good time with the likes of you.
HERITA:
…We ‘ave a sayin’ where I come from, in for a penny
in for a pound. So why not?
JESSE:
Yeah, why not?
