STORIES
86 - Coach
2006
Saturday afternoon ...
BRYNIE:
... So after the game was over, Orrie's coach announced
that he was moving away and they need a replacement.
FIN:
Do they have anyone in mind?
BRYNIE:
I asked if I could do it, but they said I'm too young.
Isn't that stupid? It's Teeball for crying out loud.
BRYNIE:
... OK Orrie, tell Fin what you did.
ORRIE:
I scored six home runs and ...
BRYNIE:
No not that, tell Fin who the new coach is.
FIN:
Orrie, please tell me you didn’t volunteer me.?
I’d help out if I could, but with my new job it’s just impossible.
ORRIE:
That’s OK Fin. I told them K’ranthir will do it.
FIN:
You volunteered Karanthir, to coach your Teeball team?
ORRIE:
Yup.
BRYNIE:
Isn’t it awesome Fin! I can’t wait to see his face when he finds out.
FiN:
What makes you think he’ll agree to this?
ORRIE:
‘Cause I’m his favorite brother and
we have to stick together. See?
KARANTHIR:
Afternoon dear brothers, you too little monster. What is it?
Why are you all staring, am I unzipped?
BRYNIE:
We were just talking about you. Orrie has some news. Go on - tell him.
KARANTHIR:
What is it Orrie my boy?
ORRIE:
K’ranthir, you my new Teeball coach.
KARANTHIR:
Come again? I don’t think I heard you quite right.
BRYNIE:
Sure you did. His team needs a coach and
Orrie volunteered you. Isn’t that something?
KARANTHIR:
Moi? You want me to coach your team? Orrie,
do you really think I’m the right man for the job?
ORRIE:
Yup. You can do it. You can do anything. You told me so yourself.
KARANTHIR:
Well of course I can but ...
ORRIE:
Thanks K’ranthir, you the best. It gonna be so much fun.
ORRIE:
... See Fin, I told you he do it. I’m hungry now.
Can I have cookies and milk?
FIN:
Sure you can.
Orrie Leaves.
BRYNIE:
Just look at him, he’s speechless. This is one for the record books.
KARANTHIR:
Fin, how could you let him do that to me?
FIN:
How is this my fault? You're the one who can
do anything. I had nothing to do with this.
KARANTHIR:
That’s right dear brother, you just sat there and let me
get roped into this. Why - this is simply ghastly! Fin you
have to do something. You know I can't be his coach.
FIN:
Why not? I don’t see a problem. School’s out, you don’t
have a job. What's the big deal? It sounds like fun.
KARANTHIR:
Then why don’t you do it?
FIN:
Me? I have a full time job, besides Orrie wants you.
He’s your favorite brother, remember?
BRYNIE:
Here you go, coach.
KARANTHIR:
What’s this?
BRYNIE:
The rule book, your player's contact info and stats,
and the schedule. You have practice tomorrow afternoon.
Oh, and there’s a game next Saturday at nine.
I’m sooo looking forward to it.
KARANTHIR:
Nine - in the morning? That simply won’t do. You know I hate getting up
before noon. Fin help me. I can’t hang around a bunch of peewees.
Think of my reputation! Besides, I don’t know anything about Teeball.
BRYNIE:
It’s just like baseball, only easier.
KARANTHIR:
I won’t do it.
FIN:
Fine. You tell Orrie he doesn’t have a coach.
KARANTHIR:
I can’t do that. The lad idolizes me. It would
crush him. Didn’t you just see his little face?
BRYNIE:
I could help you, for a price. I want to go to a Yankee
game, but with Fin working, I have no one to take me. I'll
be your assistant coach - if you take me to a game.
KARANTHIR:
You can’t be serious. Fin, did you hear that?
You’re raising an extortionist right here under this very roof.
FIN:
When he was selling peeks into the 'Kama Sutra' you thought he was brilliant. Now he’s an extortionist? I think it’s a good deal.
I’ll even buy the tickets.
KARANTHIR:
That’s not the kind of help I’m seeking.
FIN:
It’s the only kind I’m offering. Think I’ll join Orrie in the kitchen before he eats all the cookies. You two can work out the details.
Fin leaves.
BRYNIE:
Do we have a deal?
KARANTHIR:
Stop smirking at me you little monster.
BRYNIE:
I don’t think you should be talking to
your assistant coach like that.
KARANTHIR:
I never agreed to this.
BRYNIE:
You gonna tell Orrie no? It’ll break his heart
and make his little face go all sad.
KARANTHIR:
I hate all of you and your little conspiracy to ruin my summer.
