STORIES
331 - I’m Just a Doll
2023
Karanthir Charlotte Racolo Wysh Harmonia
In the kitchen …
KARANTHIR:
Oh no you don’t. You’re not escaping me.
CHARLOTTE:
Get yer bloody ‘ands off of me.
KARANTHIR:
Not on your life, Herita.
CHARLOTTE:
‘erita? Who’s she? Me name’s Charlotte.
I’m just a doll I am.
KARANTHIR:
Honestly Herita, you know me well enough to know
I’d never fall for that.
CHARLOTTE/HERITA:
Can’t blame a girl for tryin’. Now put me down.
KARANTHIR:
Not so fast. You’ve caused quite a bit of havoc here,
first as a human and now as … this.
CHARLOTTE/HERITA:
I ain’t never done anything to the likes of you.
KARANTHIR:
Allow me to refresh your memory - you specifically
focussed your animosity on those I hold dear.
CHARLOTTE/HERITA:
I’ve done no such thing.
KARANTHIR:
You tricked Es into drinking the potion that caused
her to feed off my prince. I take that very personally.
CHARLOTTE/HERITA:
Oh that? Was your own doin’ it was. If ya ‘ad made
me a vampire, I wouldn’t a needed to make me
potion, now would I ‘ave?
KARANTHIR:
You actually wanted me to bring you over?
CHARLOTTE/HERITA:
You were me first choice. If I ‘ad asked ya - would ya ‘ave?
KARANTHIR:
No.
CHARLOTTE/HERITA:
Well there ya are then. An’ you left out the bit when
you drank me potion and got awful sick, ‘member?
CHARLOTTE/HERITA:
… You fancy yourself so superior and yet you were outsmarted
by the likes of me, twice. Quit squeezing! I can’t ‘ardly breath.
KARANTHIR:
Dolls - don’t - breath.
RACOLO:
Karanthir - Cammeo’s doll escaped from …
KARANTHIR:
As usual dear boy, I’m way ahead you.
CHARLOTTE/HERITA:
That one - ‘e never was too bright, was ‘e? I remember
the time I stole ‘is granny’s book on vampires
- took it right from under his nose I did.
RACOLO:
You little ….!
RACOLO:
… What did you do to Herita?
CHARLOTTE/HERITA:
‘erita? Who’s she? I don’t know nothin’. I’m just a doll I am.
KARANTHIR:
Oh shut up with that Herita.
And you, what are you going on about?
RACOLO:
This … thing did something to Herita, the real Herita,
put her under some sort of sleep spell. Syrrah can’t
wake her up. When Herita’s asleep - this comes out.
CHARLOTTE/HERITA:
Syrrah can’t wake meself up, imagine that. Oh this is brilliant.
I even outsmarted the ‘igh and mighty priestess I did.
WYSH:
Karanthir! Karanthir - you have to help me!
WYSH:
… That powerful lady took all my wands, everyoneofthem.
RACOLO:
OW!
RACOLO:
… She bit me! The little …
KARANTHIR:
Shoo Wysh. I can’t see. We can’t let her get away …
WYSH:
ButKaranthir-mywandsmywands …
WYSH:
… Uh-oh. Great power. Oh my. Ohmyohmyohmyohmy …
HARMONIA:
You!
CHARLOTTE/HERITA:
Bloody ‘ell, not ‘er again!
HARMONIA:
I see whatcha really are - not in my house!
RACOLO:
Is everyone OK? Harmonia? Karanthir?
Karanthir, where’d you go?
KARANTHIR:
Here.
KARANTHIR:
… Madam, a little warning would have
been appreciated.
WYSH:
Help! Karanthir helpme! I’m stuck, or maybe I’m
dead? Either way I can’t move. Helpme!Helpme!
KARANTHIR:
Perhaps you should fold your wings?
WYSH:
That’s a good idea. Thankyousomuch.
Hehehehe. I’m so glad I’m not dead.
KARANTHIR:
Yes, aren’t we all.
RACOLO:
Are you alright?
HARMONIA:
I believe I am. What happened?
WYSH:
Great magic. Blinding light. Then - BAM!
KARANTHIR:
What she said, so eloquently. And now I’m reduced to being
a taxi for a fairy. Really, can this day get any worse?
HARMONIA:
Did it work?
RACOLO:
I don’t know. Is it still in there?
KARANTHIR:
I don’t sense her.
HARMONIA:
And I don’t see her.
RACOLO:
You could see her?
HARMONIA:
Clear as day, and ya’d be surprised at what I saw.
WYSH:
Oh no! OhnoOhnoOhnoOhnoooo. My wands!
Lookit, my beautifulwands they’re all burnt.
HARMONIA:
Sorry hon, I plum forgot I had them all in my hand.
Don’t ya worry now, ya’ll get yourself some new wands
when you leave this realm - and not before then.
text alert
RACOLO:
It’s Lu, the real Herita just woke up.